Maria Schuster marries Samuel Ebner May 22, 1899 recorded in the Church "Family Book" in Grosspold, Romania |
The bottom of the Samuel Ebner page in the "Grosspold Family Book," shown above, records the marriage. Maria Schuster (née Wagner) was thirty-two when she and Samuel married. It may have had as much to do with practicality as love. Each had suffered the loss of a spouse. Each had children to raise. Joining together made sense, but Lisi, Samuel's daughter and my grandmother, felt abandoned a second time.
She wanted her father all to herself and felt she was losing him to this unknown woman. The same dynamics that affect blended families today--children not accepting the new step-parent, resentment, parental loss still palpable--those feelings existed just as strongly 100 years ago.
A neighbor took Lisi aside, we later heard, and in trying to convince her all was for the best, whispered, “A man needs a woman.” Twelve at the time, Lisi probably missed the sexual connotation of this remark, but never forgot it.
Just like today, it probably took a lot of patience and love for Maria Schuster as the step-mom to win over Lisi, but she did--and Lisi came to love her new mother and sisters as her own. Difficult times and a strong community code that encouraged families to stay together probably helped, but I believe unconditional love was at the root of this blended family’s success.
Two new children were born to Samuel and Maria: Theresia, known as Resi, in 1900 and Johan, called Hans, in 1904. But the sisters brought into the marriage remained a mystery--until our family trip to Romania in 2007.
Agnetha Schuster), left, my grandmother's step-sister. Wedding photo |
Elisabeth Kirschlager center L-R Bill, Paul, Linda Gartz 2007 |
Next: Lisi's third mother.
2 comments:
Linda,
Thank you for bringing so many beautiful words and pictures to life through your blog. You've certainly been working hard...and you've accomplished SO MUCH in such a short amount of time. Bravo!
As someone from a blended family, I can't thank you enough for such a beautiful description of what it feels like: "I spontaneously threw my arms around Elisabeth and cried. Though not related by blood, we shared a common family past through our grandmothers. It was a breakthrough in understanding the connection of family that goes beyond genes. Blended families know these bonds are as strong and true today as they were a century ago."
So looking forward to more posts!
Christine!
So great to think that this post touched a cord in you. I hope to reach someone with all these posts. I'm using my family as a jumping off point, but I want to make a connection with the human experience. Thanks for writing!
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